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How to Regulate Big Emotions

These emotions include anxiety, frustration, anger, and sadness, which significantly influence thoughts and behavio

Posted

February 23, 2024

Reviewed by

Devon Frye

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Navigating big emotions is a critical aspect of emotional well-being, especially for kids. Today, we’re delving into the world of big emotions, their impact, and the importance of regulating them for a happier life.

Understanding Big Emotions

Big emotions are intense feelings that sometimes overwhelm both adults and children (Brown, 2021).

These emotions include anxiety, frustration, anger, and sadness, which significantly influence thoughts and behaviors.

There is no such thing as a “bad” emotion! Experiencing a wide range of emotions is a part of living a full and rich life, and it’s crucial to approach them without self-criticism or numbing.

The Impact of Unregulated Emotions

Not managing intense emotions effectively can affect both mental and physical health negatively.

When emotions are left unregulated, it results in behaviors that might provide temporary relief but lead to long-term problems, such as avoidance, loneliness, and inauthenticity.

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Why Regulating Big Emotions Matters

Regulating big emotions leads to improved relationships, better decision-making, and personal and professional success.

Emotional intelligence, which includes the ability to understand and manage our emotions and the emotions of others, contributes greatly to achieving these outcomes.

Strategies for Emotion Regulation

Mindfulness Techniques

Mindfulness is all about being present and fully engaging with the moment, without judgment (Nauman, 2014).

It’s a fantastic tool for managing emotions because it helps us become more aware and accepting of our feelings, rather than trying to change them.

Simple mindfulness exercises include focusing on your breath, paying attention to your senses (what you see, hear, touch, taste, and smell), and observing your thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them.

Breathing Exercises

Deep breathing is a superpower when it comes to calming down. It helps signal your body to chill out and can be a quick way to regain control during emotional highs.

Try this simple exercise: breathe in slowly through your nose, counting to four.

Hold your breath for a count of four, then exhale slowly through your mouth for another count of four.

Repeat a few times until you feel more at ease.

It’s a simple yet effective way to help kids (and adults) find their calm.

Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a fancy term for changing how we think to influence how we feel.

It involves changing bad thoughts or beliefs that cause emotional distress.

Techniques include questioning the evidence for your thoughts, exploring alternative interpretations, and using positive affirmations to shift your mindset.

By teaching kids to adjust their thought patterns, we help them manage their emotions more effectively.

Expressive Writing

Writing about our emotions can be incredibly therapeutic. It allows us to process our feelings, gain insight into our experiences, and find new ways to cope.

Encourage kids to write about their emotions, what caused them, and how they dealt with them. This will help them understand and regulate their emotions better.

Seeking Support

Talking about our emotions with friends, family, or professionals can make a world of difference. It’s an outlet for our feelings, offers new perspectives, and can make us feel less alone.

For kids, knowing that it’s okay to talk about their emotions and that they have a support system is incredibly reassuring.

Building Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) is all about recognizing, understanding, and managing our own emotions, as well as recognizing and influencing the emotions of others.

Start by practicing mindfulness, engaging in conversations about emotions, playing games that involve identifying and expressing feelings, and modeling empathetic behavior.

By working on these areas, kids will develop the skills they need to navigate their emotions and build healthier relationships.

Remember, managing big emotions is a journey, both for kids and adults.

Creating a Healthy Emotional Outlet

Offering kids constructive ways to release intense emotions is crucial. Activities like physical exercise, creative outlets such as drawing or writing, and getting lost in music will help in managing emotions.

Activities like counting or talking about their feelings are effective stress-management strategies​​.

For further guidance and support, consider our specialized services.

The Role of Self-Compassion in Emotion Regulation

Self-compassion is being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure, rather than being self-critical.

Encouraging kids to treat themselves with kindness and understanding, especially when they’re going through tough times, will help them navigate their emotions effectively.

This can be as simple as teaching them to speak to themselves the way they would to a friend who is upset.

Common Challenges in Emotion Regulation

Identifying Triggers and Root Causes

One challenge in emotion regulation is recognizing the specific situations or stimuli that trigger intense emotions.

Encouraging self-reflection and mindfulness will help kids become more aware of their emotional triggers.

This awareness is the first step towards managing their responses to these triggers more constructively.

Need help addressing and navigating these challenges? Book an appointment with us.

Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Thought Patterns

Negative self-talk only amplifies the intensity of emotions and leads to a cycle of emotional distress.

Teaching kids strategies to challenge and reframe self-sabotaging thoughts help them develop a more positive and realistic self-view.

This involves recognizing when they’re engaging in negative self-talk and encouraging them to replace these thoughts with more compassionate messages.

Consistency and Persistence in Practice

Maintaining consistent emotion regulation practices is challenging but essential for developing effective habits over time.

Encouraging kids to persistently apply the strategies they learn, even when it’s difficult, will help them build resilience and better manage their emotions in the long run.

Long-Term Benefits of Emotion Regulation

Enhanced Mental Health and Resilience

Consistent emotion regulation is key to long-term mental well-being.

It’s like having a toolkit ready for whatever life throws your way, helping you navigate through stress, disappointment, and setbacks with more ease.

This toolkit doesn’t make problems disappear, but it does equip you with the resilience to face them head-on, bounce back quicker and stronger.

Positive Impact on Interpersonal Relationships

When it comes to relationships, the way we handle our emotions can make or break them.

Effective emotion regulation helps foster healthier, more meaningful connections. It allows for better communication, as we’re able to express our feelings in a constructive way.

Empathy grows from our ability to manage our own emotions and understand the emotions of those around us.

The Bottom Line

Moreover, navigating the world of big emotions is no easy task, especially for kids. But the effort put into mastering emotion regulation pays off in many ways, improving mental health, resilience, and the quality of our relationships.

These skills don’t develop overnight, and they require practice, patience, and sometimes guidance.

Whether you’re a parent helping your child navigate their emotions or someone looking to improve your own emotional intelligence, remember that this journey is integral to personal growth and well-being.

For more insights and strategies on emotion regulation, or if you’re seeking support, reach out to us now.

Find out how we can assist you or your child in developing these essential life skills – explore our services today.

FAQs

What are “big emotions” in children?

Big emotions refer to intense feelings that children may experience and find overwhelming to manage. Examples include anger, frustration, sadness, and anxiety.

Why is emotion regulation important for kids?

Emotion regulation is crucial for children’s development because it helps them understand and manage their feelings, leading to better mental health, resilience, and social skills.

How can I help my child regulate their emotions?

You can help your child regulate their emotions by teaching them mindfulness techniques, encouraging them to talk about their feelings, practicing deep breathing exercises together, and modeling healthy emotion regulation yourself.

At what age should emotion regulation be taught?

Emotion regulation skills can be introduced as early as toddlerhood and continue to be developed throughout childhood and adolescence. It’s never too early or too late to start teaching these valuable skills.

Can too much emotion regulation be harmful?

While emotion regulation is generally positive, overemphasis on controlling or suppressing emotions without allowing children to express them can be harmful. It’s important to balance teaching regulation techniques with encouraging children to acknowledge and express their feelings in a healthy way.

Table of Content

    References

    • Benson, H. (1974). Relaxation Response. NY: Morrow.
    • Everly, G.S., Jr. & Lating J.M. (2013). Clinical guide to the treatment of the human stress response. NY: Spring.
    • Gellhorn, E. (1968). Central nervous system tuning and its implications for neuropsychiatry. Journal of Nervous and Mental
      Disease, 147, 148–162.
    • Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living. NY: Random House.
    • Meichenbaum, D. (1985). Stress inoculation training. NY: Pergamon.
    • Volkow, N. (2010). As interviewed in Cerebrum. Feb 18, 2010. A decade after The Decade of the Brain.
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    About the Author

    • George S. Everly, Jr. PhD, ABPP, FACLP
    • School of Public Health and The Johns Hopkins School of Medicine
    • George S. Everly, Jr., Ph.D. serves on the faculties of Johns Hopkins Bloomberg

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